Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Taking the Mom Pledge

Today I am taking The Mom Pledge.  For me it's just an obvious decision.  I want to always be respectful not just of other moms but of everyone.  I enjoy hearing differing points of view.  I want to know why someone who has a different opinion thinks the way they do.  I think it's possible to have debates and discussions without being hateful.

Now I am human too.  There are times I say something without thinking.  I try really really hard not to but sometimes it happens.  I get angry.  The important thing for me is to take a step back and put myself in the shoes of the other person.  It is very rare that I can not at least imagine myself in their situation.  Would I really do things differently?  How can I know that for sure unless I have experienced that?

Many times I have found myself in the other person's shoes.  I am a mom who felt strongly about and loved breastfeeding.  I felt it was the best thing for me and my baby.  At my son's 9 month appointment he had not gained a single ounce since his 4 month appointment.

Not an ounce.

Not even a fraction of an ounce.

He was close to being admitted to the hospital as failure to thrive.  So I supplemented.  I did the best I could to pump and supplement that way but it wasn't enough.  So I gave him formula.  The expensive formula because as it turned out he was allergic to milk  In hindsight that was probably the cause of his weight gain issue to begin with.  The important thing is that I now have a happy healthy 4 year old.  His younger sister never even tasted formula.  Because she never had to.  I also have plenty of friends who formula fed exclusively for various reasons.  They had very good reasons for making the decisions they did.  Their reasons were just as important to them as my reasons were to me.

I know what it's like to be a part time working mom.  I know what it's like to be a stay at home mom.

I know what it's like to be the mom who runs through the room covering her babies eyes just in case he glances at the TV and it melts his brain. (Yes, I know.)  I know what it's like to be the mom of a 4 year old who can change the TV input to XBOX, log in to his own profile, and navigate the menus to play his games.

I know what it's like to be the mom who has a "birth plan" and ends up with an emergency c-section.  I know what it's like to be the mom who fights for her right to VBAC, arguing her case with her doctor, refusing to sign the surgery consent form, and still ending up with a second emergency c-section.  It's a decision I don't regret.  I know what it's like to be the mom who will schedule a c-section for her next baby.  Because after two "deep transverse arrest" babies and one near uterine rupture I know I can't take the risk of VB2C.  It's what is right for me.  I will still encourage anyone who wants a VBAC to fight for it!

I know what it's like to make mistakes and have regrets.  I know what it's like to beat myself up over the would have, could have, should haves.  I know what it's like to be self judgmental.  I really don't need help to make myself feel bad.

This goes for anyone but especially moms.  As mothers we have the job of raising our children.  In doing that job we are understanding and supportive of our child's needs.  Is it really that hard to extend that support beyond our own household?

Honestly the thing that makes me angrier than anything else is seeing people who should be supporting each other, wasting all their time and energy tearing each other down instead.  Who really comes out the winner in the end?  Not me.  Not you.  Not our children.

The Mom Pledge
I am  a proud Mommy Blogger. I  will conduct myself with integrity in all my blogging activities . I can lead by example.
I pledge   to treat my fellow moms with respect. I will acknowledge that there is no one, "right" way to be a good Mom. E ach woman makes the choices best for her family.
I believe  a healthy dialogue on important issues is a good thing. I will welcome  differing  opinions when offered in a respectful, non-judgmental manner. And will treat those who do so in kind.
I stand  up against online bullying. My blog is my space. I will not tolerate comments that are rude, condescending or disrespectful.
I refuse  to give those who attack a platform. I will remove their remarks from my blog with no mention or response. I can take control.
I want  to see moms work together to build one another up, not tear each other down. Words can be used as weapons. I will not engage in that behavior.
I affirm  that we are a community. As a member, I  will strive to foster goodwill among moms.  Together, we can make a difference.  

Now I encourage you to please join me in taking this pledge.

The Mom Pledge is about bloggers standing up, speaking out, and coming together to eradicate online bullying of moms by other moms.  The time has come for us to take the power back and own this issue.

Will you take The Pledge?

Taking The Pledge is easy. All you have to do is:
  • Read the pledge and commit to its principles
  • Post the Take the Pledge badge prominently on your blog
  • Add your site to the blogroll on The Community page
  • Write a post about what The Pledge means to you
  • Spread the word and encourage other Mommy Bloggers to Take the Pledge