Showing posts with label Randomness that nobody really wants to read but I'm still writing it. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Randomness that nobody really wants to read but I'm still writing it. Show all posts

Monday, November 24, 2014

A Holiday Gift Giving Guide: Gift Ideas for Kids

As I am organizing my Christmas shopping list this year I thought I would share a few gift ideas in case any of you need some inspiration.*

A Holiday Gift Giving Guide: Gift Ideas for Kids #christmas #gift

Ideas for Girls

My daughter bought this guitar for herself with her birthday money and she plays with it every day.  They also make a keyboard that I am considering getting her for Christmas.

Dream Dazzler Stylin' Guitar

A Holiday Gift Giving Guide: Gift Ideas for Kids #christmas #gift

I do NOT recommend a microphone.  Also bought with her birthday money.  Do yourself a favor and avoid the noise amplifier!  She loves it.  I do not.

Friday, November 21, 2014

SQT - Sleepy and Stuff

How bout a couple of quick, quick takes?

1.  Didn't get much sleep last night.  The Peanut came in around 1 am and slept with us for the rest of the night.  He was mumbling something about "finishing the show" and trembling.  I couldn't tell if he was scared, cold, had to pee or was just really tired.  So I sent him to the bathroom thinking he would go back to his own bed after that.  No such luck.  He came back and decided to cuddle up right next to me.  On my pillow.  With my blanket.  Did I mention he has taken up a snoring habit?  My position on co-sleeping hasn't changed.  I still can't sleep with someone touching me.  Or kicking me all night long.  Needless to say I did not sleep much at all for the rest of the night.  I did ask him several times during the night if he wanted to go back to his own bed.  Especially after I finally dozed off for a few seconds and was woken by him saying "Mom!?  Was that poop??"  Um... What?  "Never mind."  Really?  I am supposed to go back to sleep after that??  He was content enough to remain.  And then this morning he woke up and asked how he got into our bed.

2.  After all the work I did de-hoarding the house so it would be easier to clean and prepare to host Thanksgiving, we have decided not to host Thanksgiving.  I thought it would be nice to take a little vacation for once and mainly, I don't feel like cleaning.

The bad news is that I will still have to clean for Christmas.  I really should get started on that now.  Procrastinator.

SQT - Sleepy and Stuff
Totally linking this up with Theme Thursday "prepare" if Cari ever posts it. Ahem. ;)

3.  My husband turns 40 on Tuesday.  Being a loving, considerate wife, I planned on having a big party for him.  I am also a terrible procrastinator and an even worse planner.  Needless to say those plans never came to anything and it seems we will be doing exactly nothing for him.  Because I am the worst wife ever.  So, if anyone has any suggestions on how to do something super special for him on a $0 budget and four days of planning, I'm listening!

4.  I am on tsu now.  I just can't seem to help myself.  I have to join every social networking site out there.  It's invite only but you can click on my invite link if you want to join or you can follow me if you are already a member.  It seems to be catching on.  Mainly because you can make money using it.  Still figuring it all out myself.

5.  I swear the Peanut was just singing the Mr. Ed theme song.  He says he was just randomly singing "of course of course" but it sounded just like Mr. Ed.  I, of course, had to You Tube "Mr. Ed Theme song" and the Peanut insists that it's nothing like what he was singing.  Totally was.

Then I got sucked into the You Tube vortex and ended up here.



Conclusion.  I watched way too much TV in the 80s and 90s.  The only show on that list I didn't watch was #15.

6.  After watching this yesterday, my kids can't stop singing "I've got a butt."  Totally should not have let them watch it!



"Music got weird."

7.  As a continuation of my 31 Days of De-hoarding series and self motivation to continue the de-hoarding process, I started a new link-up.  Take It Out Tuesday.  Every Tuesday I will be de-hoarding something and inviting you to join along.  I will also be keeping the link open all week so bascially you can de-hoard something any day and join in.  Also, if you aren't a blogger but still want to join, feel free to just take a picture and tweet or Instagram or Facebook it with the hashtag. #takeitouttues  Because I like things nice and easy.  You're welcome!

Now go check out some more Quick Takes at Kelly's!
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Monday, September 29, 2014

What Did I Just Get Myself Into?

I have been trying to be a better blogger lately.

Which pretty much means sharing stuff more often even when it's something no one actually wants to read.

You're welcome.

With that in mind I just signed up for a 31 day blogging challenge.

31 days of blogging.  Every day.

About one subject.

Right.

I just couldn't seem to help myself.

I love the Nester and have followed her blog and her Pinterest boards for a long time.  I just love her style.  Then, recently, I read her book and love her even more.  "It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful."  Just what I needed to hear.

Cause things round here never gonna be perfect.
What Did I Just Get Myself Into?
And that's ok.  The Nester said so.  Have you seen her house?  It's beautiful.  She knows what she is talking about!
When I saw her 31 day blogging challenge, I said to myself.  Why not join in?  31 days of blog content and the motivation to tackle something that really needs doing.  Win and win.

I guess I am in.  And I am telling you about it today so that I can't chicken out before I even get started!

Just in case you are wondering.  I know you were.  I am not at all prepared for this.

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Saturday, September 13, 2014

7QT - All the Things!

It has been way too long since I last participated in Seven Quick Takes Friday!

Let me tell you.  I always have grand intentions of all the things I am going to share on the blog.  Half written posts, posts in my head, oodles of pictures taken with a specific post in mind and then...

Life happens and posts don't get written or finished.  And you never get to hear about that trip we took to Disney World almost two years ago.

So, for your reading enjoyment, here are seven quick blog posts I have been planning on writing.

1.  The Princess gets glasses.

In hindsight I should have probably realized she needed them.  She would get so upset when doing her school work that her letters looked wiggly.  I thought she was just being a perfectionist.  That was only part of it though.  Turns out wiggly meant blurry.  Go figure.
I got glasses too.  Not that I really needed them.  My prescription is the lowest one.  But I thought it would encourage her.  Good thing I don't actually need them because I have already managed to lose them.  Which totally makes all my lectures to her about taking care of her glasses and not losing them, a bit hypocritical.
2.  The Princess gets her first haircut.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Slab Leak Survival Tips

Now, I don't like to brag.  But after seven slab leaks, I am starting to consider myself somewhat of an expert.  So I thought I would share my expert knowledge with my readers.  Just in case you ever find yourself unfortunate enough to have to deal with a slab leak.  Or seven.
First of all, what exactly is a slab leak?

If your house is built on a concrete slab, then the plumbing is under the concrete.  First, all the plumbing was laid out, then the concrete was poured on, and then the house was built.  So if one of those pipes under the slab starts to leak, it isn't easily accessible for repair.

How will you know you have a slab leak?

If your living room starts to resemble a swimming pool, you might have a slab leak.  If you start to suspect a child or animal is frequently having accidents in the same spot on the carpet, but they only get wetter when you try to soak them up, you might have a slab leak.
If you notice a high water bill, you might have been especially thirsty that month, or your might have a slab leak.  If your water meter is spinning, it might be possessed, or you might have a slab leak.

How will you locate the leak?

Water is funny.  It can come up in your living room and you may suspect a leak in the kitchen because it is the adjoining room.  But you might find out the leak is actually in the bathroom located on the opposite corner of the house.  Water will come up at the lowest point.  It might come up in the house, the yard, or it may just drain away under the slab and you may never see it at all.

Plumbers will locate the leak by using equipment to listen for it under the slab.  Wherever the water sounds the loudest is where they will dig.  It's harder to locate if it's a slow leak.
How is it repaired?

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Five Rambley Favorites

My only excuse for the garbled bunch of nonsense you are about to read is that I am a bit tired.  Not sure what my excuse is every other day...

I have wanted to write a Five Favorites post for a long time now but never quite got around to it.  Because I am a procrastinator to the extreme.  I procrastinate doing things I WANT to do.  Pretty bad I know.  Love reading everyone else's Five Favorites and keep thinking, "That would be an easy post to write.  I can come up with 5 things I like."

Wait can Five Favorites be one of my Five Favorites?  Or would that be taking it a bit too far?

Ok, here we go.  Five random things that I love at this very moment.

1.  Mom's Night Out.  The movie.  Haven't seen it yet but I love the trailer and am determined that it is going to be as wonderful as it looks.
Plus, it was co-written, co-directed, produced by a homeschooler.  Awesomeness!!

AND Patricia Heaton is in it.  Love her!

2.  Patricia Heaton.  She is so funny and talented and beautiful and awesome.  And Catholic.  Totally cool.  She always picks the best roles.  I think she gets that it's possible to not have everything totally together but for things to still be good.  (I know that doesn't make total sense.  Not totally together here.)  Though I suspect in real life she has things at least somewhat totally together.  She is also in one of my all time favorite TV shows.  The Middle.

3.  The Middle.  Seriously people.  Do the writers of the show spy on us or what?  A show about a totally "disfunctional" family that are maybe more functional than they give themselves credit for.  Frankie is my favorite TV mom ever.  She is always so tired and frazzled and defeated and chaotic yet she just loves her family and wears herself out doing things for them, all while berating herself for not doing enough.  (I know that was a run on sentence so I threw a comma in there.  You're welcome.)   It's just so real.  When they had to hold the dishwasher shut with the broom handle while it was running to keep it closed.  Yes!  And when they finally got a new dishwasher but it wouldn't fit in the space.  Nice!  And when Mike gave that awesome speech about how the house hates them.  Truth!  And when someone turned on the oven and burned the quilt that was stored inside because no one ever cooks.  HA!!!  The toenails in the chip bag.  Dying!  It also happens to be one of the very few shows on TV that I can let my kids watch.

4.  Mitzi's new blog.  Coquades Galore  Just discovered it today and I am super excited.  She is already making me laugh.  Especially when I read her description of me in her Blog Roll.  (And her introduction to the Blog Roll.)  I had totally forgotten the escalator until she mentioned it.  So I guess it didn't scar me for life after all.  Though I am still convinced it is somehow my destiny to die on an escalator and if I just avoid them I might live forever.  Um.  Right.  Back to Mitzi.  We were friends in college and then roommates after college (she was an awesome roommate) until she decided to move far away JUST to get married to her love.  Whatever.  I guess I either need to get over it or she needs to come to her senses and relocate her family right back to Texas where everyone belongs.  Unless they are mean.  Then they can live somewhere else.  But Mitzi isn't mean so she needs to be in Texas.  Mitzi also inspired yesterdays blog post.  And when I say inspired, what I really mean is "gave me an excuse to ramble on about Doctor Who to a captive audience."  That's almost a direct quote from my husband.  He's right.  I tried to add Coquades Galore to my Blog Roll but it is being mean to me and refusing to work.  Mean Blog Roll should just move away to somewhere that isn't Texas.  Or work.  Work would be better.

5.  This cuteness.


I just wrote an entire post without including any pictures.  So.  Here.
In their pajamas at 2pm.  Playing video games on a school day.  (School work was finished first.)  Pouting Princess.  No idea what she is upset about other than she got up too early this morning.  This is what they were doing while I was writing this.  Mother of the year!

Linking up my (very rambley) post with Five Favorites at Moxie Wife.
Five Favorites, hosted at MoxieWife.com
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Monday, April 21, 2014

A Whole Bunch of Easter Pictures

Wanna see what we did for Easter weekend this year?

You know you do.

Dim the lights and cue the seemingly endless slideshow of someone else's (totally adorable) children.

Good Friday-

In the spirit of Good Friday and remembering the sacrifice Jesus made for us all on the cross we decided to take a family trip to Six Flags.

I know you probably aren't getting the sacrificial element there but by the end of the day I was totally offering up my hunger (would you believe grilled fish is nowhere on the Six Flags menu) and sore feet.

It would seem the kids suffered too.  My husband had been planning the moment.  Their first trip to Six Flags.  The very first ride he would take them on.  The Aquaman.
 They would love it and he would finally have the ride buddies he has always wanted.
Things don't always go according to plan.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Can You Guess My Favorite Color?

Today's Theme Thursday theme is green.  So, when the kids asked for pickles for breakfast I thought it might make a perfect green picture.
Mom of the year alert!

It wasn't quite green enough to satisfy me so I figured I could find a few green things around the house to photograph.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Mommy Blog Mafia

It seems I have been inducted into the Mommy Blog Mafia.

Did you say T-Shirts?
Mommy Blog Mafia T-Shirt
Obviously the bad clipart image should be replaced by a fisher cat but I didn't have any pictures of fisher cats.  Cari should really send me one so I can remedy that.

Oh, and I am supposed to answer some questions.

Stealing the explanation from Cari who copied it from Paula.

"According to the paragraph I've cut and pasted from Paula's post, "The Liebster Award originated from a German blogger who wanted to recognize her fellow bloggers with fewer than 200 followers.  Liebster means "dearest" in German."

And, because I love me a lazy Google search, I found this blogger with more ambition than I have tracked down the award to its apparent source.  Like a Snopes for blog awards.

Now for the questions and answers:"
1. When you were little, who did you want to marry?
Oh goodness.  Who didn't I want to marry?  I always had some sort of crush as far back as I can remember.  Except for the times I decided I was going to be a nun.  A nun astronaut.  Hmmm.  Probably the first person I actually remember wanting to marry was Joseph.  How old was I?  8?  He was four years older than me.  I thought that was just the right age difference.  Ironically my husband is four years older than me so I must have been on to something.  Joseph was really more of an older brother figure.  I remember him teaching me how to roller-skate.  Most of the boys in the neighborhood liked hanging out at our house because we had a "TI" with all the best video games.  Like Burger Time.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Fear Not, I Have Returned

When I left you I had a broken a computer and all hope was lost.  Well nearly lost.

I called my Computer Guy.

Ok, I sent a detailed message to my Computer Technician.

Fine.  I sent a panicked text message to my brother complete with pictures.
He replied by explaining to me in painstaking detail over the phone how to fix my computer.

I followed his technical instructions.

Step one.  Insert CD into CD drive.

Ahem.

As it turns out I had to hit a function key to get the computer to load from the disc.  It would not automatically do it.

Details...

He also warned me that I should not insert the disc that would wipe out all the information on my computer.

I guess it's a good thing I didn't know about the function key...

I ran the repair.

He declined to remain on the phone for the hour it took to run.  Just can't get good service these days.  He seemed to think that his paying job was more important than his panicked sister.  Job before family.  I get it.  Just because I'm not paying him the big bucks.  He has this silly desire to eat and to live in a place with a roof.

He warned me that it might not work and we might have to try another solution.  He said not to panic if it didn't work.

It didn't work.

I panicked.

Sent him more badgering texts.  Fix my computer!!!

He walked me through the process again.  Turns out I just had to run the same repair again and it automatically tried a second solution.  Restore to an earlier date.

It worked.  Here I am in all my glory to continue my great work.

Obviously I can't actually give up my computer for Lent.  The world needs me.

Thank you lil bro for unleashing my glory back upon the world.  I know they appreciate it.

P.S. Vote for my "Lovely Living Room."  Round 2!
"Lovely Living Room"
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Friday, January 18, 2013

Just In Case It Isn't Clear...

Warning!

This is a humor blog.  I am prone to sarcasm and exaggeration.  If you don't understand either of these concepts you should probably not read my blog.

(I do clean my house and I have never owned a pair of green crocs in my life.  Shh.  Don't tell anyone.  Ok?)

Thank you.  Have a nice day. ;)
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Friday, November 30, 2012

7QT: The "To Do" List

Remember "Once Upon a Time" when I used to write funny posts?

Right.  Neither do I.

You are probably hoping I am about to write a funny post.  Sorry.

Instead it's going to be another one of my boring "my house is a mess and I don't want to clean it" posts.

Because that's what I do when I am looking for something to do other than the things I am supposed to do.

Today I bring you a list of 7 things I need to do today.  Exciting right?  You are totally on the edge of your seats.

1.  Clean the house.

Big surprise there.

Tomorrow is December 1st.  And I am under the deluded fantasy that I will somehow clear out an area big enough to put a Christmas tree up.

This is the corner we put the tree in every year.
But now I have a desk.  And a sewing machine table.  In that corner.  Yup, they're there.  Under all the clutter.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Why I Should Never Be Put in Charge of Plan Making



A good friend of mine is getting married soon.

She is getting married out of town.  An 8 hour drive away.

Planning for the trip has been a bit tricky.

The minute she announced her engagement I wrote the date on the calendar and planned on attending.  At the time, I was expecting to have a newborn but that wouldn't stop me.  There was no reason we couldn't make an 8 hour drive with a few week old baby.

Then we had our ultrasound and everything changed.  I had no clue how things would turn out and was no longer sure I would be able to attend my friend's wedding.  Which made me feel terrible.

Devastated actually.  She is a really good friend and my daughter's Godmother.
How could I miss her wedding?!

I've previously missed two weddings of close friends.  My childhood best friend and my college roommate.  It still makes me sad.

I kept hoping that somehow we would find a way to make it.

Then Matthew came early and went to heaven after his 36 hours with us.

After the funeral (which I have written about and will post one of these days) was over I realized that one of the gifts Matthew had given me by coming early was to allow us to attend my friend's wedding.

So, I started making plans.

I'm sure my emotional state didn't help matters any.  I was very determined and started frantically looking up hotel information.

Unfortunately since I wasn't making reservations far enough in advance I found that the hotel everyone else would be staying at was booked.  Not only that but it seemed like the entire city was booked.  The only hotel rooms anywhere in the city were $300-$400 a night.  Not happening.

I was so upset.  Frantic.  I didn't know what to do.

We started considering trying to drive 8 hours to the wedding and 8 hours back on the same day.

Like I said, emotional and not very rational.

My husband kept helpfully assuring me that whatever decision I made was the right one.

Finally I found a hotel.  An hour drive away from the wedding location.  I booked the last room.

An hour drive to and from the wedding was better than 8 right?

Now here's the best part.

Yesterday, I was packing and getting ready for the road trip to her wedding.  Hotel reservations had been made.  My husband's vacation day had been approved.

Then I get a text message from my husband.

"You sure the wedding is this weekend?"

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Halloween Who

A couple of days ago my son made an announcement.

For the past several weeks he had been planning on being Spiderman for Halloween.  He was Spiderman last year and his costume still fit.  We were being a bit lazy and were big fans of the idea of an easy stress free Halloween so it seemed perfect.

Then came the announcement.

My husband has been trying to give the Peanut a haircut.  His hair is getting a bit wild and out of control.  But he needed new clippers.  So finally he went to the store and got the clippers and told the Peanut that it was haircut time.

"But it's Doctor Who hair!  I want to have Doctor Who hair!!"

"I think you have had Doctor Who hair long enough."

"But... but..."  Scrambling for his life line.

"I want to be Doctor Who for Halloween!"

The magical words were spoken.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Duped

Way back in the day, when the Peanut was potty training, he actually was night time trained before he was daytime trained.  He is the soundest sleeper ever and at night he would half wake up screaming.  For awhile we thought it was night terrors.  He would scream and cry but never even open his eyes.  Because he wouldn't fully wake up he could never respond to our questions and let us know what was wrong.  Eventually he would calm down and go back to sleep.  The next morning he wouldn't remember.  I'm not sure how we eventually figured out to take him to the potty.  I guess we noticed that he was also wiggling around and decided to give it a try.  He was wearing a diaper at night so he would half wake up having to pee.  He would scream and cry then pee and go back to sleep.  Once we figured it out we just took him to the potty and he would pee and then go happily back to bed.  He would never fully wake up through it all.  We were then able to put him in underwear at night and he never had a nighttime accident unless for some reason we were too slow getting him to the bathroom.

Eventually he grew out of this phase and would wake up on his own and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night without assistance.  Every once in a while when extra tired he would have a repeat and wake up screaming.  These occurrences were pretty rare so, many times, they threw us off.  We would forget and would waste time trying to figure out what was wrong.  Lesson learned.  If he wakes up screaming, potty first, questions second.

Recently he has been experiencing a relapse.  I have kind of wondered if it had something to do with my being pregnant.  More specifically, since I already wake up twice a night having to pee myself and the Princess sometimes wakes up having to pee and still needs assistance, why not add a forth nightly bathroom trip.  You know, to help prepare me for the all nighters once the baby is born.

Now he seems to have outgrown the screaming and instead rocks back and forth whimpering.  Again, his eyes don't open.  The Princess will wake up to the whimpering and drag herself out of bed, make her way to my room, wake me up and tell me that the Peanut needs to go potty.  She then slumps back into bed and happily drifts back to dreamland while I wake him up and get him to the bathroom.

This was happening every night and I was really starting to wonder what had caused this sudden relapse.

Then he dropped the bombshell on me.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Guess Who's Back?

This morning the kids were at the table coloring and I was admiring their artistry.
Suddenly the Peanut exclaimed, "Oh no, mom look!"

He pointed out the window at the pool.

Guess who's back, back again
Shady's back, tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back
Guess who's back.  Guess who's back?

Thursday, May 31, 2012

That Time I Almost Impaled My Son With a Knife

When I was a child, I had a pretty healthy fear of knives and scissors.  I'm pretty sure it stems from the time my little sister cut my mother's finger with a pair of sewing scissors.  She was a baby at the time and I guess she reached over while my mother was cutting something and closed them on her finger.  All I really remember about it is my mother returning from the ER with a giant gauze bandage on her finger.  It made a pretty big impact on me.  What I understood, at about the age of 4, was that my sister had cut off my mom's finger and the doctor sewed it back on.  I guess that's what I made of the idea of stitches.

We no longer trust my sister with anything sharp or hot!  (Love you sister!!!)

As an adult that fear of sharp objects remains.  No, I am not afraid to use knives or scissors.  Instead, I am pretty well convinced that if my kids ever get their hands on them, they will manage to cut me, each other, or themselves.  Terrified.

I have managed to successfully pass down that terror to my son.  From the time he was born, I stopped calling the sharp instruments, knives or scissors.  Rather, they were the owie scissors and owie knives.  I wanted it clear that anything sharp = pain!

I should add here that I have no qualms whatsoever of passing on my own fears to my children.  Especially when it's a rational fear.  (Yes, fear of escalators is totally rational!!!)

My daughter knows no fear.  Especially when it comes to playing with dangerous objects.

Recently she climbed up on top of the kitchen counter and retrieved the kitchen scissors.  She brought them to me along with her pet tissue box, "boxy."  "I can't cut this.  Can you help me cut this?"

Needless to say I freaked out.  And that's putting it mildly.  As I took the scissors away from her she said, "but I wanted to cut my toenails with them."
Sharp "Owie" Scissors
One of us is going to end up in the ER one of these days.  Either for a toe reattachment or heart attack!

The knife block has been relocated to the top of the fridge.  I am holding my breath that she doesn't figure out how to climb up there.

The other day, I made my son a sandwich.  I put the plate on the table and he asked me to cut the sandwich for him.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Zombie Ethics

My husband and I have been catching up on episodes of The Walking Dead.  We are frequent watchers of Zombie movies and other horror movies.  In fact, I swear the moment we fell in love was when we found out we both loved Evil Dead.

I never have nightmares after watching scary movies.  Well, with the one exception when I was 5.  But now for two nights in a row I have found myself having nightmares.

Not really about Zombies.  No, my nightmares have been about lost and/or injured children.  Because I'm a mom and if anything is going to scare the crud out of me, it's the thought of something hurting my children.

I have one "rule" when it comes to horror movies/shows/books.  Do whatever you want to everyone else but leave the pregnant women, babies and children alone.  In fact my husband has felt my wrath several times after convincing me to watch a movie (that he had previously viewed) in which my rule wasn't followed.  (I'm also not a fan of "revenge" movies.)

In fact, he convinced me to read the first Walking Dead comic book and I was pretty mad at him after I finished it.  I refused to read any more.

Despite myself, I have been sucked into the show.

Let's just say they keep toying with my emotions and keeping me on the edge of my seat.

Last night was the first night I didn't have the nightmares.  Probably because I was up half the night wrestling with an ethical dilemma.

Would it be right/ok to "kill" a Zombie?



Are Zombies people too?

Are Zombies already dead anyway so it doesn't matter if you shoot them?

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The Duck

A couple of weeks ago I was in the kitchen washing dishes.  Ok, ok.  I was in the kitchen giving the dishes my "why don't you just wash yourselves already" stare, when I happened to look out the window.

I was greeted with this sight.
Now, there have been several times in the past that I have wondered if fighting with the pool to keep it clean and chemically balanced is really worth all the effort.  I mean maybe we should just buy a few fish and some lily pads and pretend it really is supposed to look like a slimy pond.

But this.

Well, this was the point of no return.

If Mr. Duck decided our pond pool was his own personal playground and invited all his ducky friends to join him, we would just never get it back.

I eyeballed Mr. Duck.  He flippantly ignored me.

How to rid the pool of Mr. Duck?  This was going to be a delicate operation.

I consulted my best friend, Mr. Google, for answers.  He laughed at me and responded encouragingly, "You're screwed."

I frantically texted my husband who responded helpfully, "Shoo him off."

Um.  Right.  Like I need to be attacked by a duck.

I briefly considered sending the dog out but the last thing I wanted, aside from a pond full of ducky poop, was to be cleaning duck guts out of the yard.

I decided to stand in full visibility, with the glass door between us for protection, and call the duck's attention to the fact that there was a very dangerous woman hanging out at this pond.

He responded by giving me his best, "you don't threaten me and in fact I don't even know you are there.  You might as well be a tree." look.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped out into the yard.  Clutching the door and preparing to duck (get it?? Ha! I'm hilarious!!) back inside at the first aggressive move by Mr. Duck, I made myself look as threatening as possible.

He responded by giving me his best, "you don't threaten me and in fact I don't even know you are there.  You might as well be a rock." look.

I got a text from my husband.

"What is it doing?"

"Just relaxing."
"Or perhaps calling his ducky friends."

Because just then the worst possible thing happened.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Why Ironing is Hazardous to Your Health

You know all those silly, embarrassing, thoughtless things you do as a kid.  The things no one ever really needs to find out about ever.  The nice thing about those silly things is that as you grow older no one really remembers to tell the embarrassing tale.

Unless of course you have loving siblings who make sure you never live that one moment of carelessness down.

Yes, my friends.  I am one of those loving siblings who will never stop torturing my little sister for that one time she had that incident with the iron.
And now I bring it to a whole new level.  Because instead of my usual continual reminders and teasing, I am now posting it for the whole world to read.  Or at least you know the handful of people who actually read my blog.

Bwahahaha.  Sibling love!