Thursday, March 31, 2011

Stuff I Want: Kohler Toilet

I know you have all been wondering what ever happened to my "Stuff I Want " series.  Everyday you check in and find to your dismay no "stuff."  You haven't given up hope though.  You keep checking back with baited breath.  Is today the day?  Will your patience be rewarded?

My friends . . . today is that day!

You ask yourself, does she want another shelf?

Yes, of course I do.

But that is not what I am going to talk about today.

Today I am going to talk about something else I want.

A new toilet!!!!

Um, really?  Yes, I know.  Of all the things I could wish for a toilet is what I pick?!

You haven't seen it yet.  It's not just any toilet.

It's a . . .
KOHLER K-3564-0 Saile Elongated One-Piece Toilet with Dual Flush Technology, White
Kohler Saile Toilet
Ok, I know exactly the reaction you are having.  Why would I want that weird looking toilet?  Why can't a toilet just look like a toilet?  Then you start to wonder why you have that reaction anyway.  I mean who's to say a toilet has to look a certain way?  Does it really matter what it looks like as long as it functions properly?

Oh, it does matter.


Take a second look at that toilet.  Look a little closer.  Now think about cleaning that toilet . . .

Got ya!

Now I am going to tell you a little bit about my bathroom.  First of all, it has issues.  To fully detail all of those issues would take too long so I will save that for a separate post at a later time.  As a summary I will just tell you that we still have a hole in the tile floor from the Attack of the Pipe Gremlins incident.  The paint is peeling off the bathtub.  Yes.  I know.  There is ugly brown glue along the side of the tub and cracked tiles from where we removed the equally hideous brass/gold shower doors.  Random walls are wallpapered but the paper has faded to slightly off white.  You almost wouldn't be able to tell it was there except that it's smooth and peeling a little in some places.  I could go on but as I said before.  Another post for another time.

The bathroom is both the master bathroom and the guest bathroom.  It is the only bathroom on the bottom floor.  It has one door leading to our bedroom and one leading to the hallway.  To send our guests to another bathroom would require sending them upstairs, through the guest bedroom or through the man cave.  That bathroom also belongs to the cat so I try to avoid inflicting that on guests.  They are out of luck on that if they are actually overnight guests staying in the guest bedroom.  So the downstairs bathroom, that really needs to be totally torn out and started over, is the main bathroom for everything.

The toilet in that bathroom is my nemesis.  It has a leak so it is continually trickling water.  (We actually had a plumber look at it and their response was something to the effect of not worth fixing.)  It is missing those little caps that go over the screws that hold it to the floor.  Those are probably missing because it had to be removed once, during our whole plumbing saga, to snake the line.  It was never sealed back down.  The tank lid is cracked.  Actually I think it was broken and someone glued it back together.  You probably wouldn't notice the crack unless you were cleaning the toilet.

Cleaning the toilet . . .  Now you might get the impression that I don't like to clean.  You would be right.  Cleaning the toilet is needless to say very high on the list of things I don't like to do.  I think most rational people would understand and relate to that.  Cleaning the toilet is made worse by the fact that in that bathroom we have the Evil Dust Monster. *shudder*

Baseboard infected by Evil Dust Monster
This is not your ordinary filmy, fluffy, cobwebby, white/grey dust bunny.  This is the vile, black, glue like dust.  It cements itself down and refuses to be removed.  No, it's not mildew.  Mildew is easier to kill.  It's dust that gets humid and sticks to everything.  It likes to lurk in the cracks and crevices.  It scoffs at any removal attempts.  No cleaner is strong enough to melt it.  (Actually anything wet makes it stick worse.)  No scrubber is scrubby enough to budge it.  (Not even the all powerful magic eraser.)  In the end I am left with the cleanest Evil Dust Monster on the planet.

Think of all those nasty crevices.  Now look at the toilet to rule all toilets again.
KOHLER K-3564-0 Saile Elongated One-Piece Toilet with Dual Flush Technology, White
My toilet in shining armor!
Look how sleek it is.  No cracks, no crevices.  No exposed screws, no little cap things to lose.  It's even all one piece!  No footholds for the Evil Dust Monster!  He doesn't stand a chance against the Kohler Saile.

Now you see the beauty don't you?  You are asking yourself, why don't all toilets look like that?

I will also point out a very important attribute.  It's a Kohler toilet.  I heart Kohler.  I want every porcelain fixture in my house to be Kohler.  I have a Kohler sink in my kitchen.  It's the one thing in my kitchen I absolutely love.  Well, I also love my fridge, and the light fixture over the spot where there should be a kitchen table but there isn't actually enough room for a kitchen table.  Those I picked out myself.  The sink actually came with the house.

Whenever I find myself in a bathroom, at a restaurant or a hotel, I have noticed something.  Actually, whenever I find myself in a bathroom, at a restaurant or a hotel, in which I have actually noticed the sink or toilet or tub, I have noticed something.  If I notice it (I've noticed) it's Kohler.  Without fail if I look at a sink and think, that sink is so pretty, it's Kohler.  Kohler porcelain just looks better than other porcelain.  It's shinier.  It's smoother.  It's prettier.  It glows.  It's almost translucent.  It speaks to me.  It says, "don't you wish your toilet was this beautiful?"  I do!  I do!

Kohler Saile Toilet, one day you will be mine!


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