Right now I feel like I am sitting at the top of a roller coaster just waiting for the bottom to drop out from under me. I don't know exactly when it will happen but I know it will and all I can do is hang on for dear life. I never liked roller coasters.
I am normally not a very organized person. I know, don't be too shocked. When it comes to schedules and appointments I am a mess. Usually I rely on things like the Evite email or the phone call from the doctor's office to remind me I am supposed to be going somewhere tomorrow. I have a calendar in the kitchen and have been steadily working on improving myself by remembering to make little appointment notes in it over the last year or so. Still, I usually have between one and maybe four things written down on that calendar for an entire month.
The other day I looked at my calendar for this month and next and felt the panic start to seep in. My schedule is so busy. Usually I feel busy when I have those four thing months. Now I have something at least every other day. Every week I have a doctor appointment scheduled with a different specialist. Tomorrow we have our first meeting with a fetal cardiologist. Sprinkle in all the added summer activities like Vacation Bible School and play dates with friends and add a few other appointments like a dentist visit. We decided against putting the Peanut in swim lessons this year because we just couldn't find the time to fit them in.
Now, let me tell you what is making me feel so overwhelmed.
A week ago I wrote a blog post sharing our news. My husband shared that post on his Facebook page and a few other friends shared it on theirs as well. I never even shared it on my personal Facebook page because I was so busy.
I have been inundated. Flooded with responses. Emails, phone calls, messages. Well wishes, prayers, encouragements, shared stories, offers of help. So, much so that I haven't even had the chance to reply to them all. Friends, family and even people who have never met me.
Again I find myself asking, "Why?"
Why me of all people? What have I ever done to deserve all this support and love?
I know there are so many people who walk difficult paths alone. Who have no one to help shoulder their burden.
How did I get to be so blessed?
I shared before that I don't see myself as a strong person. I really don't. But right now I am being carried along by the support and love of so many amazing friends and family.
I know I can never begin to express my appreciation for all of you. I only hope someday that I can even begin to repay you for all your kindness.
Thank you. You know who you are.