Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Where Are My Keys?!?!?

The other day I had to run a quick errand to the store.  I was just going to run out real quick and pick up a couple of things.

I grabbed my purse, my phone, checked for my wallet.  Because do you know how embarrassing it would be to get to the checkout aisle with an entire cart full of merchandise only to discover that your inquisitive daughter had removed your wallet from your purse?  Do you??  I do.  And do you know how embarrassing it would be to drive through a fast food restaurant only to discover at the window that you are missing your wallet?  Do you??  I do.  And do you know . . . yeah you get the idea.  Oh, and do you know how smug you feel when you realize you cleverly stashed an emergency credit card in a side pocket of your purse for exactly such emergencies only to be brought back down to reality by finding out said emergency credit card expired months ago?  I know, I know!!!

So, I checked for my wallet.

Then I checked for my keys.

No keys.

No keys in the front pocket which is where I specifically put my keys so I won't lose my keys.  No keys in the main compartment where I sometimes throw my keys without thinking and then they get all buried so I have to shuffle everything all around trying to find the keys.

No keys.

I started backtracking.

The night before.

I had walked in the door.  I remember unlocking the door.  I know I had them to lock the car.

I walked inside and over to the computer desk.  I hung my purse on the chair at the computer desk.

Then I walked into the kitchen.  I deposited the to-go container in the refrigerator.  Then I walked out of the kitchen through the opposite side.

I took off my shoes and left them in the middle of the living room floor near that kitchen entrance.

My phone rang.  I walked to the computer desk and pulled my phone out of my purse.  Talked on the phone at the desk.

Then I went into the bathroom and changed out of the dress I had been wearing.  The dress had no pockets.

Then I came back out into the living room, sat on the couch and watched a movie with my husband.

I checked the car, I checked the front door, I checked the desk, I checked the refrigerator, I checked all kitchen counter-tops, I checked the bathroom counter-tops, I checked the laundry basket, I checked all surfaces along my path.

I checked my purse again.

My husband, having no faith in my purse checking abilities, checked my purse.

I repeated my check through the house.

My husband checked the car.

We checked my purse together.

My husband checked the refrigerator.

I checked my purse again.

I checked all couch cushions.

I checked my bedroom.

I repeated my check through the house.

I checked behind all furniture that had a surface that could have held keys.

I checked under all furniture that had a surface that could have held keys.

I repeated my check through the house.

I walked my husband through my path through the house as he checked.


My husband checked behind all furniture that had a surface that could have held keys.

My husband checked under all furniture that had a surface that could have held keys.


We checked under the couches.

My husband checked my purse again.

And found my keys.

Hidden in a mass of receipts.

In the main compartment.

We had been searching for 20 minutes.

It might be time to clean my purse out.

Inside I found a taco.
No idea why, when or how.  No clue.  Can't even fathom.

My excuse?  It's a mommy purse.
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